Butch Lewis and Steve Harvey tell this great story about friendship in this story about a wagon. Sometime in 2014 Steve Harvey was on Oprah Winfrey’s LifeClass and talked about this fantastic wagon story. This story directly pertains to removing people out of our lives who are not helping us move forward.
For those of you who don’t know the story or didn’t see the clip- here’s the WhitneyNotes Version:
Steve and Butch say people who are “success minded” are all pulling a wagon uphill, shirtless with a long, thick rope (I hope I have your attention now).
They say you’re pulling this wagon of yours all the time, uphill and you’re doing it solo. In this wagon, though, are people. They must be inside of the wagon and you need to be certain that everyone in the wagon is helping out as you are going up the hill (because it’s heavy, difficult and your responsibility).
Maybe someone has their feet off to the side and are helping push you upwards with their legs or moving rocks from underneath the wheels, etc.
The problem comes when people just decide to chill-out in the wagon that you’re working so dilligently to pull and they are not helping or contributing at all.
They get complacent and they get lazy, or they just aren’t interested in helping you go further. They’d rather watch you werk. They’d rather see you sweat.
Steve later asks us to make a list of the people you need to determine are either helping or hindering your journey uphill. If they are not contributing, let them go…
BUT THEN I HAD AN IDEA.
Guys and Gals, Boys and Girls… Who are YOU on someone’s wagon?
Who are you in someone else’s wagon?
What is your role?
Are you helping?
Are you so worried about your own wagon that you never jump on anyone else’s and offer support, guidance or manual help?
Is your wagon pulling a one-sided journey?
I mean what’s the point in writing this list of people if you are the one on the wagon with not only your feet up, but your eyes closed????
Who have you been helping lately? What have you contributed to someone in need? Do you uplift or do you instigate or compare? Nag or complain?
Before you write the lonnnng @$$ list of people who you need to “delete delete delete” I encourage you to look at your own behaviors. Review your past experiences and ask yourself: Have you shown up for others like you want all of the people on your list to show up for you? If you haven’t, think twice before deleting them.
Friendship and partnership and companionship and community is a two way street.
We need to receive as well as to give gratitude and attitudes of appreciation.
We need to uplift as well as be uplifted.
We need to get love and help as well as give love and help.
We cannot go on this journey alone.
So prior to deleting people from your Facebook, other social media platforms, your cell phone or your life- remember this message.
Remember who you are and remember what you are asking of others.
If you are not indeed doing what you are asking of others, then you are asking for the wrong things.
I want you to start 2017 with a bang, but we start with ourselves first, not with going through and having “delete delete delete” parties and bragging about how many folks we’ve removed so we can “do better” in the new year.
Do better Right Now. You and 2017 are worth it.
Now go on pushing your wagon, girlfriend. Push it real good.